man and boy

Have you ever thought what could be the biggest pain and regret of your life? Well recently i was talking to auldreay, who just can repel the negativeness of me in my life. I have a conclusion. People come and go in your life, so i would say that its rather common and easy to have new friends as and when they comes. How about loved ones?? We have seen chances and opptunities flashed and left us, the moment we winked our eyes.

to be cont

i finished a book yesterday callled man and boy. About a man how he screwed up his family one night, by sleeping with his colleague. In one night, his beautiful family broken up, his beautiful wife left him. He was left with his son. further, he lost his job to the same woman he sleep with. The problem with him is that, he is the kind of person who lives in "sinatra" songs. Where everything is about romance and love that never dies. his wife gave up her life for him and their son. He on the other side gets bored and blames everything everyone except himself. Towards the end, he learnt a thing call "managing love" which coincides with Frank Sinatra's kind of songs. For eternal love, managing it and putting lots of effort into it, it just doesnt comes down to earth like a gift from god. He also learnt about unconditional love. learning how to love again.

the catch phase of the book would be, "if you found someone to love, you should grasp the chance and never let go" then again i would like to refer everyone to another viewpoint, is the one you found, the one you loved? ironically, at my young age, i have many colleagues married at my age, some even have kids "its not shotgun". At night i also see them in camp, regardless its a weekend or weekday. i asked them, why are you not going home? i probably would get back an answer that's so unsatisfactory that i dont buy it. they are becoming something i call, "weekend family man" i seen them going at the wee hours of the night, enjoying themselves, come back camp and sleep. This is the routine that that they are going through every now and then. However, what about the son, wife?? maybe to him, as long as i go back every weekend, accompany them, bring them out, spend some time with them, my job is accomplished. Total Bullshit!! i simply cant except that kind of thinking, where fanily does not come first and job is not first too.

i have 2 friends that got married 2 years ago, engaged. he still goes home everyday, however to him, the woman sleeping next to him, is his wife, and thats all. Basically, the home is a place to sleep, it has got a bed and TV. the relationship is very fragile. The another one simply loves fucking around, eveytime his phone rings, it would be anyone except his wife. he would be happy yakking away, until his wife calls, it wuld then be transformed into a solemn and serious talk.

Comes the big question mark, " why are you getting married when there is something inside you, thats not ready to commit?" to be frank, i do get jealous when i see my friends get married, at the dinner, we would cheer for them. But what about the fairy tale ending?? when both supports each other emotionally, until their dying days. i am not the kind of person who believes in those love stories, maybe as i am getting matured, the boy inside me has slowly died away. i believe in commitment, trust and most importantly effort. People always thinks that when they get married, that everything is settled, but guess what, it has just started.

regards
dreamwaters