Pleading the fleeting moment to remain...

Memoirs of Kenny Teo 2008 - 2011

2010-11-30T17:26:00.000+08:00

From the day I was offered the job of Lexmark product manager, I knew my life will never be the same from another sales person. I have picked the product from day 1, where it was doing nothing and no one wants to be associated with. My first job was to reduce the inventory and grow the business to 1 million per year. I knew nothing about product marketing, it seems to be glamorous job.

We started off at the Sitex 2008, I was having my reservist at the same time. I finished my night shift and came to office and do up the necessary work for it. It was very tough, but it proved to be an exciting experience for me. I was physically tired, but I was so ready to take up the challenge for it. We worked with 2 resellers and we did not manage it to the best. Due to this date, I still hope that it was done to the expected standard I hoped. In this world there is no rewind button for anything you did wrong. I worked with people like Joe Cheng who was experienced and guide me thru the process. Jacq who gave me my first lesson on how to do up promotions and competitive analysis for show.

Then came another challenge, in the PC Show 2009, we confirmed the resellers on the show. However on 2 days before the show, reseller backed out, and we have a void on the placement of the reseller. In the end with the support of our finance, operations and admin team, we did our first direct selling. Andrew employed his team of part timers to support us. It was really very tough as we had no time to prepare; we managed to scrap thru with a record sell thru of close to 500 units, which we never came close after that.

During the H1N1 incident, TTSH wanted T644dn urgently and requested for weekend delivery. Adele and I drove a van to office and picked up 6 of them and deliver all the way to CDC2 on a Sun Morning. Thanks to Kim who helped to open the gate, and I destroyed the funz club door single handedly. Fortunately, Patrick did not asked me to pay for it. And I was glad as it was about 1.5k for it. It felt good as I think I value added to it. After that Toh Lik came to us with an email from TTSH to get us to buy 400 units of work group and toners. After which the goods arrived and he quitted after that. It was a very valuable lesson for me that I should never too eager to sell and not to trust them 100 percent. We kept the stocks in another warehouse for half a year. Fortunately, Ryan and Patrick was very supportive during the stocks clearing period. Till now we still have many of the toners with us. I never managed to clear them. Anyway I never learnt 100% of the lesson, as I was also made to believe from Mars that he will buy 100. In the end he did not honor it again.
We started our journey to open up retail resellers; it was hard as the legacy left behind from previous team was bad. They sold stocks to the resellers and left them to rot them. With a brilliant product with horrifying legacy, there was no negotiation space. We stood outside the doors of the resellers like Challenger and Best Denki for 1 year. They let us into their place with difficult conditions in place for us. With Edward we managed to open up challenger and opened up many outlets. Best Denki we still only managed to have 1, and the buyer constantly pick on us. Till Kelvin Ong left, we are still only allowed to have 1. Carrefour along the years have been supportive, and Popular with the blessing of the 01 Computer Team and Popular’s Nancy, Jason and Kok Weng we managed to sustain a very cordial working relationship which till this day is still worth keeping.

Francis got to know Suresh thru a meeting, we started to ship to Suresh’s customer in Iran. We shipped the printers in thousands, in order to sustain the business. We don’t make money from it, but with it, we balanced the sales to them and GP to us. Francis managed to keep this business to us, but seriously I am not very keen on it.
In 2010, we received news that they are looking to appoint a new distributor in Mar. Richard and Francis helped to push it back and to keep us as the main distributor. They came clear to us on Nov 2010 that we are not in their master plan of 2011. And on this day of the road show, Sitex 2010, would be the last show I will be doing for them. Luckily we have been told that we can return the stocks to them in Jan/ Feb period. From there we can move on, at least I can.

Many people asked if I am sad. I always thought I am professional enough to handle this form of emotional loss. However at this moment, this is a feeling of loss. I wonder from Day 1, from the presales portion, to the training, the customer management, the shows and the work we have done. We act as representative of Lexmark, and proud of it. This sense of loss was nothing I have ever felt. I looked lost and tired, but I knew that no matter what I do anymore will matter anymore. Lexmark as a product, made me many true and worthy friends, like Tracy, who constantly helped me with the physical work and emotional baggage that I carried. Edward, who though many a times gave me tons of marketing ideas, helps to push out stocks. Jacq, who gave me 200% of free play. Patrick who never questions me on my decisions made. On behalf of Kenny Teo, I thank all that was not mentioned but worked in the same capacity. I thank you for your effort and help.

This day I will learn to let go, as this young toddler which I grow from infant will be taken care by someone who will bring it to teenager and more. I trust that there is always someone who is more capable and smarter than me, who will make a bigger difference in bringing it to the next level. Instead of saying we shall see, I will say, I hope all the best for it and hope that one day when it really made it big, I will be able to look from far and be proud to say that I was part of the effort to help.
Good Luck to my young toddler and hope you will be able to define yourself in this world like just a eagle soaring in the blue skies.

Kenny Teo 2010

Singapore Idol!!

2004-12-02T20:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday, it was a big day for singaporeans, coz, we have our own idol!! Its Taufik Batisah, a polica NSF in david's division. Its really a exciting moment for everyone who lives in the country of red and white flag, with 5 stars and a moon.
As Ken Lim said, you made a lot of people believe that, dreams do come true, if you try hard enough. He also qouted him saying during the audition, "you will not regret this!!" Such small words with such great meaning embedded in them. Like the song goes, "There will be miracle when you believe" AND BOY can he sing.
i am a person that like old timer songs, so when he sang that "me and mrs Jones". The start off was like "WOAH!!!" blown me off. I was so impressed that i was quiet and concentrated on him. thats not an action of the critical Kenny. I bet those people who tried writing him off, are eating up their words at the very moment. Went to work today and saw him everywhere, radio and TV. Oh... imagine singing until 11 plus last night and early in the morning in Channel News Asia. Well i guess its never easy, hope he will do us proud everywhere he goes. =P
Finally found a part time stint to past some bored time, will be selling Ipod at a roadshow, i think it will be this Sat though, think about, extra cash, babes, and busy days ahead. Nevertheless, hope to find a full time job soon. Hope to see the boat on the sea for this sinking man. =)

sailing on the beautiful dreamwaters

Attitude...

2004-10-21T19:44:00.000+08:00

This week i had a major in-camp training, this unit called 327 SCE, a battalion size unit came in. I wonder if it was fate or luck, i get to meet two person, that i believe was fruitful to me. One is Edward Tan, a Regional Director for a MNC, another one is Mr Gerald Singham, a lawyer. These two person offered me a few advice that i believe triggered thoughts on me.

Edward currently holds an appointment of a Regional Director in a Italy Based MNC, dealing with furniture related engineering industry. What i see him as a role model is, when he was in CJC, he flopped his Chinese F9, which took away the chance of him getting into local university. He then took up a Dist learning Bachelor, which took him 3 years to complete. He was realistic with his choices, and went ahead with his believes. As my plans coincides with what he was going through, i talked with him, asked for his advice and opinion. He told me, This route that you have chosen, is not going to be easy. These 2 years of studying and working concurrently will be the worst times of your life. Hold on and persevere, the future would be yours to hold. I too knew that, success stories do not belong to everybody, but i would like to believe that i can be one of them. He to me is somehow a source of motivation, a example of a person who went through what i think i will go through and made it. One day when i fell awfully low, i will think of what he went through, that would be my thrusting power forward.

Mr Gerald Singham, hhmmm, perhaps if you flip the paper couple of months ago. The case of the journalist sexually harassing a lady at the pub, and got charge at court. Well, he was the defending lawyer for that Journalist. http://www.theworldlawgroup.com/ He is the President of The World Law Group. Although i am not into the Law thing, well pershaps by seeing the size of his group, i do believe that he is of the higher echelon.

How do i get acquainted with this man, someone who in my life might never get a chance to talk to. I was having lunch with my boss, then he sat down and joined us. He is a friend of my boss. My boss introduced me to him, he was easy to talk to, maybe by virtue that he is a lawyer, he talk politically =) My Boss asked him to give me some piece of advice. (well, at normal times, you need to pay him for advices =p)

He presented to me a challenge that our country is facing, foreign talent. The fact is many of our people are not very bothered by it. We believe that we belong to the higher echelon to Indians and Chinese etc. He qouted an example was, he had a lawyer attached to him from india, very hardworking, effective chap. At the end of the attachment, he asked Mr Singham, do you have a place in your firm that i can place myself in?? Why was the reply, he then replied by saying that in Singapore, life is so easy, we enjoy the comfort of 2 things. Scenario one, A lawyer in Singapore is handed a case, he delegated the research work to his assistant, and him do the paper work and probaby done in 5 to 10 mins time. This India lawyer, who was handed the case, have to walk all the way down to the library by himself and probably use 5 hours of his time to flip that dusty old book for his resources. The lesson here is we enjoy the resources that we have, it acts as a force multiplier to our work, we are extremely efficient in our work. And because of our resources, we get to rest early and wake up later. The poor india lawyer has to wake up at 5am in the morning to beat the traffic and goes back about 10pm at night. WHat a horrible mismatch!!! SO if you are a employer, who would you choose?? He finished the topic by saying that when the government says the threat of foreign talents is coming, they really mean it.

He proceeded on to another topic, he mentioned that he often says inside the interview forum, to listen to what the interviewees got to say. There was this guy, who after the interview was posed this question to the board, What's the working hours? After the reply from the board, he then said, hhmm then wouldnt this job affect my golf games?? Well Mr Singham told him to go to hell, and of course he was not employed, afterall that guy was rich. Enter this guy, fresh grad from school, humble background, after the interview he was offered a pay that was not the desired amount that they can afford to offer him, his reply was "Thank you Sir!!!" Mr Singham was very shocked to hear that answer thought that he was being sarcastic, posed him this question, "Don't you think that you are paid a little too much??" He replied, "No Sir, i thank you for giving me the job, as for the pay, i am sure that after my one year of hardwork, next year you would increase my pay to a respectable amount" that sentence shocked him, and of course he got the job.

Mr Singham with that second guy as a reference, introduced a term so important yet so forgotten by many, Attitude. the first guy definitely has a less preferred attitude. The second guy, who is humble and bears a positive attitude, is well liked and preferred by all. He pointed out to me that all employers would like a worker that bear a positive attitude, who is then able to contribute to the company at all times. To him, if you compare Attitude vis-a-vis Intelligence, he would employ the less smarter but good attitude guy, for he would be the one who will be able to influence the outcome of work thats tasked to him, and definitely in a very positive note. To me, what he is telling me acts as a reminder, at anytime any place, this positive would be the thing to bring places.

These terms are so often heard, yet it is so easily forgotten. How many would be able to keep their mind clean from all the poison surrounding him. Many a times, the intelligence and education of a person would place him on a complacent ground, denying himself the chance to grow in both career and mental. This is a social poison, which can be seen everywhere, how many people would be able to deter it. I read about a Magnate today in the papers who make it with just 6 Bumboats in the 1967, now he is a tycoon with hotels at aust and a shipping company in singapore. He too had people who was trying to "poison" with the why you going overseas, risky etc. SHould he have placed his bets all in singapore, with the recession in place, he might not have made it now.

Before my lunch with him ended, he taught me a line, One day if there is a employer during the interview posed you this question of "Why should i employ you?" He told me to say that, I am a 24/7 worker, to me, my work don't end after 6pm, it would just be shifted to another place, which is my home. Well to me, that would be more of a advice rather than a line to use for interviews. When there are times, you feel like giving up at home, reflect at that time when you claimed this line yours. Perhaps you will be able to achieve higher grounds.

its 2056hrs now, signing off

Regards
dreamwaters

Priority of task...

2004-10-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

Went to the gym after work today. Met lester there, he belongs to a group of people that i brand them as freaks, not in their looks or appearance, rather their thinking. Anyway, he is one of the person that i can really interact with in camp. We started to talk about lots of things, business management, marketing strats. I discover that we belong to the non-singaporean kind of business people, we believe in service and product, however the emphasis in not with price. This point is reiterated by qouting you a example, you are a singaporean customber, you walk in to the shop wanting to buy something, what would be your immediate concern?? 3 options, Price, Service and Product. Think about it.

He started to talk to me about the current trend in the service, he was rather quite set to leave the army in 2 years time, you sometimes just have to give it to him.For he is a graduate, but he forgoes his rank and serve and a LTA rather than CPT. Purely for the fact that he has regretted his decision as a regular and hence decide that he would not want the rank to tie him down. As he seems quite disillusioned by his current status, i proposed to him, why not go take another private degree. Since it does't matter whether you stay or not, why not take the chance while you still can, expose yourself to more field of learning. My point to him was that, it doesnt matter what do you gain from this degree, however it would be a chance to open your mind to more of the world, purely for the fact that knowledge is power. He do have the plan, ha ha, great minds do think alike =P

Then i tell him about a colleague who is also doing part time studying. This is a common friend for both me and him. How should i start this, hhmmm. Let me quote an event, i was on this guy's car, he stunned me a question, "LTA KENNY, you think ii should be more focused with my studies or work?" Hhmmm, normally people would say, studies right?? Guess what i told him, "SO, if you don't work, would you have the money to study??" To me, if you are a student, then fine, your focus is studies. however if you are a worker, perhaps the question that was popped, would rather show me your state of mind. I would dare to say that, he inside his mind, wished and pleaded that i would say studies. Well, i guessed i am the wrong person to asked after all.

Dispite what i told him, he is still the person that mixed his work and studies together time and again. When the whole world is busy working towards a deadline, he would either take leave, or he would just say in a very reluctant tone, i need to study for my exam. Lame and weak excuse... Taking up the course doesnt mean that that's all it matters. juggling between two important events at one time is stuff, nobody says it wasn't tough at all. Perhaps only when you put yourself onto such tests, you will know how strong you are.

In Combat Engineer planning has a principle; "Priority of Task" perhaps i should shed some light into this sentence. Scenario: When you have 200 hours worth of work to complete but you have only 150 hours left. MAybe you should examine what's your priority is, and by doing that you can buy time to finish the least urgent ones.

When i leave the army in Jan, i would be taking on the challenge of working and studying at the same time. "Man is like a teabag, sometimes you gonna put them in hot water, then you would know how strong it is". To be frank, i am not ready to test it, i am ready to challenge it. My mental is strong, now it would be physical. Perhaps its the fact that everyone says its very tough, i would like to pose a challenge to it. 2 Years is not very long nor short. Let it be a test of character, let it be a test of desire and drive. Isn't it boring to be in status quo all the time?? ha ha ha

Many might not agree with my thinking, but in my opinion, that would be the best arrangement for me, the utimate stage for me, sounds very gunghoh. however we shall see....

kelvin keeps buggin about a issue thats really stressing me out... dying...... help...

regards
dreamwaters

Learning to live with each other...

2004-10-19T21:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i fulfilled a childhood dream and saw the Eagles in concert. Something that with money, you might not be able to see. Don Henley's Vocals is still so magical after so many years, guess what he put on lotsa weight this time. Ha ha ha i guessed thats a sign of good fortune i would say. Don sang a song after the break, called Hole in the World. This song is not really a new comparing with Hotel California (The song that every person could hum to, and thats not the only song that they are well known for, for anyone's info). Back to the song, it was written on 2001 after the Sept 11 incident. This song somehow touches on inter-human relationships. The song is set with mellow and sad tunes as a backstage, singing a acapella, then follow by lyrics about how people fight and get angry with one another. This somehow is linked and anchored towards the angry JIs.

Don qouted a statement, " This Song is call Hole in the World, somehow the Hole just seems to get bigger" This appears to be a statement of dispair and disappointment. Maybe We should can see this from another angle, even at our present day and time. AT work, house, we are constanty try to juggle between relationships. Be it, Family, Work, Firendship.

Why are we not able to live in harmony and always seems to have irconcilable difference. Using my shallow knowledge, perhaps i can contribute my 5 cents worth of opinion. I would like to use a phase call " Difference of Ideals" isnt it so?? We have to face the fact that everyone is brought up very differently, different culture and background. Leading to different education, we learn to think differently. hence it will form our own sets of values.

How can we see this difference of values?? In the television, we see Kerry and Bush showing the world their difference of Ideals openly. We also have the terrorist who holds very dearly their believes, who is even willing to sacrifice their precious lives for their Ideals. It is because of such people who held to different to their ideals, stacking on their very strong character Subsequently meet up with the people who have similar character howver in this case different ideals, forms a competition. The competition stretches to people out there, and forces people to take sides which subsequently transforms from competition to enmity.

Glenn Frey pointed out " why cant people just learn to live together, not trying to preach but why people just can't learn to live with each other." Even for myself, i also held on to my believes, and then you will have your own ideals, i have people that i cant live and work with. When he quoted that, i asked myself that question too. I have problems with my family, work. Well i guess, the first point is to start and see things from the other side's perspective. Only then will she be able to learn to come to a common ground, where we will be able to cherish each other more. Perhaps we can reach the promise land over the yonder.

I discovered that i belong to a group of people that grows slow during puberty, as in the thinking wise. Nowadays, i see myself thinking like a old man. Like things that old people like, i start like listen music of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole and Louis Armstrong. i wonder whats the next stage of evolution for me...

Hole in the world

(Don Henley, Glenn Frey)

Chorus:
There's a hole in the world tonight.
There's a cloud of fear and sorrow.
There's a hole in the world tonight.
Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

They say that anger is just love disappointed.
They say that love is just a state of mind.
But all this fighting over who is anointed.
Oh, how can people be so blind.

Chorus

Oh, they tell me there's a place over yonder.
Cool water running through the burning sand.
Until we learn to love one another,
We will never reach the promise land.

Chorus

They say that anger is just love disappointed.
They say that love is just a state of mind.
But all this fighting over who will be anointed,
Oh, how can people be so blind.

Chorus/End

Regards
dreamwaters

man and boy

2004-10-07T18:51:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought what could be the biggest pain and regret of your life? Well recently i was talking to auldreay, who just can repel the negativeness of me in my life. I have a conclusion. People come and go in your life, so i would say that its rather common and easy to have new friends as and when they comes. How about loved ones?? We have seen chances and opptunities flashed and left us, the moment we winked our eyes.

to be cont

i finished a book yesterday callled man and boy. About a man how he screwed up his family one night, by sleeping with his colleague. In one night, his beautiful family broken up, his beautiful wife left him. He was left with his son. further, he lost his job to the same woman he sleep with. The problem with him is that, he is the kind of person who lives in "sinatra" songs. Where everything is about romance and love that never dies. his wife gave up her life for him and their son. He on the other side gets bored and blames everything everyone except himself. Towards the end, he learnt a thing call "managing love" which coincides with Frank Sinatra's kind of songs. For eternal love, managing it and putting lots of effort into it, it just doesnt comes down to earth like a gift from god. He also learnt about unconditional love. learning how to love again.

the catch phase of the book would be, "if you found someone to love, you should grasp the chance and never let go" then again i would like to refer everyone to another viewpoint, is the one you found, the one you loved? ironically, at my young age, i have many colleagues married at my age, some even have kids "its not shotgun". At night i also see them in camp, regardless its a weekend or weekday. i asked them, why are you not going home? i probably would get back an answer that's so unsatisfactory that i dont buy it. they are becoming something i call, "weekend family man" i seen them going at the wee hours of the night, enjoying themselves, come back camp and sleep. This is the routine that that they are going through every now and then. However, what about the son, wife?? maybe to him, as long as i go back every weekend, accompany them, bring them out, spend some time with them, my job is accomplished. Total Bullshit!! i simply cant except that kind of thinking, where fanily does not come first and job is not first too.

i have 2 friends that got married 2 years ago, engaged. he still goes home everyday, however to him, the woman sleeping next to him, is his wife, and thats all. Basically, the home is a place to sleep, it has got a bed and TV. the relationship is very fragile. The another one simply loves fucking around, eveytime his phone rings, it would be anyone except his wife. he would be happy yakking away, until his wife calls, it wuld then be transformed into a solemn and serious talk.

Comes the big question mark, " why are you getting married when there is something inside you, thats not ready to commit?" to be frank, i do get jealous when i see my friends get married, at the dinner, we would cheer for them. But what about the fairy tale ending?? when both supports each other emotionally, until their dying days. i am not the kind of person who believes in those love stories, maybe as i am getting matured, the boy inside me has slowly died away. i believe in commitment, trust and most importantly effort. People always thinks that when they get married, that everything is settled, but guess what, it has just started.

regards
dreamwaters

Are we ready??

2004-08-01T22:05:00.000+08:00

As the big day for Singapore arrives, we put up the flags in front of our flats. Celebrating a day where we gathered and tell the world our achievement since the separation from Malaysia, the pride to tell the world that we are singapore, and that we have work very hard for this day, and we will continue to do so.
Shortly after that, it would be the handling over of PM Mr Goh to DPM MrLee . To be frank i feel that, these are all the things that doesnt really matter in a country, especially for small fry like me. Its like in a MNC, a big company, you mean a clerk like me get bothered about such changes?? Ha ha ha, matter of fact i do care, to me the concern is not who is the boss. I am very concerned more about changes. Good or bad, to be frank, doesnt matter to me at all. One is that there is nothing i can do, two is i cant be bothered. Somehow i feel that Singaporeans are brought up in a way that we are supposed to take what comes our way. What the boss says, we follow. In a leadership model, sometimes its better to have a leader talk, the rest follows. When people at the lower level starts to question the leadership, the leadership somehow would get shaky. Then time would be wasted to ease and appease the people, rather than executing their plan. People always seems to be complaining about the govt unable to accomadate to our needs. Then the govt will start to paint the big picture to everyone in the world. Whatever, its doesnt matter at all, who is the boss, what we genuinely hope is thet the country will do better or maybe great for the years to come. Then maybe, he would be able to silence all his critics, and make them eat their word. Maybe the country people is able to give them sometime to change and adjust, do not be over reactive to immediate changes. ONly then we might be able to see some tangible changes, after all, Troy was not conquered over night.
So now we are just a few days away from the big day, i always forget to apply for the free tickets... PISSED... Always watch in the TV, the atmosphere is always very overwhelming, NEXT YEAR I WILL NOT FORGET!!!!! Anyone who sees this, its your duty to remind and inform me... REMEMBER!!! Tomo EOAC starting liao.... hell for 6 weeks, GOD HELP US!!! getting slack and inconsistent in blogging recently... 2245hrs now.

regards
dreamwaters

Honesty and courage...

2004-07-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

   Today i would like to tell a story about a friend. He told me a story about honesty and courage, even down to the fact that he understands what his friend did, even if its in his disfavour. There was this mutual girl friend  that both he and his friend, say A. As days went by, they became close to each other, subsequently they became good friends. My friend found out that he has got good feelings towards her, and he told him, but as there's no concrete action taken. He could never be regarded as courting her. As she is a wonderful young lady, the queue of suitors will never end, eventually A became one of them. "Ha ha ha when i heard this story, i can't find laughing myself.. sounds like a Judith Munaught without the sex book" However A went to her, and express his feelings. HHmmm, so... whose side are you now on?? I would be on the side of my friend, given the circumstances and situation until now. To A, its just a expression of his affection, which any man would do, should rightfully do. Who is in the position to fault and condemn him??
   Looking back at what he have done, he felt the sense of duty to tell my friend about what he has done "its doesnt matter whats the outcome on top, below is the gist" "Hey Mike, tell you something, i confessed my feelings to Racheal. I am telling you this, because i dont wanna let you feel betrayed, so i wanna tell you myself. To me i just felt that i should express my feelings to her. You should too" Mike was shocked nevertheless, i would say that he was shocked that ALvin was interested in Racheal, second was that he frankly told mike about it. What matters most here to Mike actually was not the affection he has for Racheal, rather it was the friendship that Alvin treasures with Mike. Alvin nevertheless did something before Mike's back, but he has the moral courage to tell him. Mike was not angry nor feel cheated at all, on the contrast, Alvin earned his respect as a friend. Afterall, Alvin did something that Mike couldnt do, walk up to her and express to her how he felt.
   Many times in life we would be caught up in situations like these. Either you are in Alvin's shoe, juggling between friendship of a good friend, and the feelings for a wonderful woman, Or in Mike's shoe, the feelings for the lady and the good friend who confessed his love for her. For Alvin, doing whats right for him and tell Mike about the incident. For Mike, being able to understand the situation and dilemma that Alvin went through over this issue. How many people in the world is willing to accept and undertand, give and take, resolve and dissolve in this incident?? MAny a times we seen life long friends and family broke up in front of the eyes of love. Not trying to be noble here, but maybe you should tak a seat down, while sipping off your coffee. Put yourself in either Mike or Alvin's shoe, what would be your solution? =P Maybe you can come up to me one day and tell me this similar story or incident you experienced like Mike and what was your reaction and action...
   Just watched Botherhood, a war slick that i would like to comment... Maybe next time, dun wanna be another army guy telling a army movie in his army view, i bet the whole world would send virus to this site.

Cheers
dreamwaters

burnt out.. =(

2004-07-08T13:02:00.000+08:00

Recently i feel this sudden lack of energy in my life. It seems that whatever i am trying or doing something, there is this force that's either holding me back, or worse holding me down. It seems like a situation when Michael Owen unable to score or outrun players the way he used to.
Its seems that three weeks before, i was still quite energetic, totally different from what i am now, i was the alter-ego of what i am now. There was lots of work to be done for the iso recertification then, i guess after all the late nights working, i was burnt out by the work load. Now i am feeling so weak both mentally and physically that i dont feel like doing anything at all.
One more thing perhaps is that now i am facing a moment of transition of my life, throwing down this uniform to something else. It was not a easy moment, its a time that i worry about not able to get a job, unable to get the end point. Thats something that really worries me, even to the point that it irks me. Everyday i am worried about unable to get a job when i leave, to the extend that i start to think on the dark side. Trying to think positive is just the only thing that i can do now. This is the path i have chosen, now i have a chance to look for my end point. This is really a challenge, living up to it will be a very difficult task. I might just not make it.. this really sounds like the darkest hour in my life. Good and bad... good id that i am finally leaving, bad is facing the world once again.
I have faced this painful and cruel world since i was in secondary school, to be able to self suffice is really a painful and tired experience, but then again.. its a experience, that made a boy realise many things about him, building his character, and maturity. Nevertheless, he also have losses, he lost the most important thing in his life, it is called "youth". Youth is a priceless and precious thing that each will only have it once in their short and fragile life. I admit i lost it, when everyone is wondering what to do during wekend and holidays, i will be planning how to maximise my time to earn more money. He hee
Sigh.. i am never afraid of challenges, i am afraid whether are they willing to throw me the challenge. If they are going to reject me, i will be very disappointed, as in really very disappointed. =(
Finally Yk and Wl is coming back.. more people to accompany the lonely man.. =) Too bad i wont be around when they come back, haha ha on a exercise, 3days 2nights... god damnit cannot sleep liao.....
time is 1315hrs, rarely write in office hours, anyway its lunch time.. whats wrong? =)

regards
dreamwaters

Holland Soccer Team =P

2004-06-26T18:42:00.000+08:00

On going is the fever of Euro 04. Nevertheless, in every soccer fan's heart lies a team that they support with all of their heart. For its the "oranje" Netherlands. Its a team that practises the famous "Total Football" pressuring the opponents with the attacking powers of footfall, pushing forward, this style of playing is made famous by many famous players in the past, namely Johan Cryuff, Ruud Gullit, Frank Rijkarrd not forgetting the European player of the Year Marco Van Basten.

I look at the current team, what i see is a reflection of the past, this is a time with a very all rounded and complete squad. Stam is standing firm in the centre of the defence, the left wing, young and very talented Argen Rooben, the right, Mr Marc Overmarcs, who at his 30s still fly past defenders when he is 20. Muscling the Midfielder is the "PitBull" Edgars Davids and Clarence Seedorf, lastly but no least the danger man in the box Ruud van Nistelrooy And its not the end of the list.

Then i found one very disturbing problem with this team. They ALWAYS question and comment the coach. Hhmmm to be frank i think this is a very indesireable behaviour. MAtter of fact, they question him in the area of tactics and team selection, which should be the specialty of the coach, since when a player is fit to question the coach. How would i know all these, because whenever i go on soccernet, i would always see such "nonsense". Giving people the image that Holland is a bunch of ill-discipline cowboys, which matter of fact they are.

In the currect society, in a working team, no matter where. Whenever a team is formed, the leader would be the one having the final say, in all aspects of the issue. Nevertheless he can delegated the decision making authority to someone. However when he talks, everyone listens, isnt that effective communication. In the Holland case, what disgusts me the most, is that the coach offers you a chance to represent the country, a chance to show the world what you at best at. In the end, what he gets is nothing but useless and malicous comments. To be more specific, they commented him in public. So whats the moral of the story?? maybe the "smart alec" next time be appointed the coach, that might solve the problem =p Even if the fact is that the coach dun command respect to all the players, i am sure when he is selected to be the coach, he definitely meet the criterias. I am sure it would hurt giving him the minimum respect, at least not rebuking his decision in public.

Maybe they did not realise one thing, this is a mirror effect. Whatever you do to someone, it will also have a effect on you. example, Seedorf said that Dick Advvocaat did a wrong thing by subsitutig Rooben out. First impression would be, "hhmm i agreee with him" then came the next" why is Seedorf critising his coach, what a ill discipline player!!" I don't know how people think but thats my impression of him. Maybe what they can do is to be like ITALY dressed to kill rather play to kill hahahaha if you know what i mean.

Tonight is a big night for them, they will be facing swedne, a very talented and disciplin team, with the of Fredick Ljunberg, Ibrahimovic and Henrik Larson, hope they will pull in a team effort and show the world the powess of TOTAL FOOTBALL Think i will go and take a nap first he hee time is 1930 hrs

regards
dreamwaters

National service.....

2004-06-15T21:48:00.000+08:00

Today i was in the office with boss discussing about some OE recertification stuff. He pop up and told me, hey, from today on wards, NS will be reduced to two years across the lines. All NSF will only serve two years only, regardless of A level or N level. On 1500hrs today, Defence Minister announced in the Parliament.
Definitely as the NSF who is serving currently will be happy, he will be the one benefitting from this scheme. However i as a regular officer, i do have some views on this. Singapore military system, goes as below, recruit 2.5mths, Officer 10 mths, follow by 12 mths service and 2mths clear leave. This would a rather standard progression, i use this as an example, because this is the highest echelon of NSFs, using this would be of most appropriate. So SAF uses 10 mths to train a full fledge Officer. According to research, do you know that Singapore is a country that uses the shortest time to train a Officer?? American Military School WEST POINT uses 2.5years to train one. Great Britain SELHURST uses 2 years too. This two countries are probably the ones that has been through real war time situations, and through real time experience, they set the time frame to be as above.
Been through the officer cadet course of SAF, i feel that what i learn and acquired in the course is not leadership. What i learnt instead are initiative, endurance and knowledge. So those the three above qualify as leadership qualities?? In my opinion, no. We have to be aware of the fact that there's so much too teach in the 10 mths. Knowledge by itself is taking about 99.9% of the time, not including all the out field training. And we are using that 0.1% of the time left to teach leadership?? To be frank until today, i can stand up and say that leadership is not something that you are learn through teaching, instead you can only gain it, through experience and also personal atitude. After ten months of gruesome training, you will be rewarded with the rank of second Lieutanent, and you think you are ready. SO are you really ready??
Defence Minister's decision to cut the service years is something not up to me to judge. However we really wonder what trigger this change?? Are we suffering from the after effects of the Commando incident?? Or are we suffering from the economical upset?? Recently i read on the papers, that the malaysian NS was suffering some haevy setback, there's was a heavy and high case of AWOL, which could be due to the lack of education and also emphasis on the issue. Then i hereby posed this question, isnt it the case that when your aggressors are suffering from internal problems, it should be the time for you to train harder to pull the distance between your strength away from his as far as possible?? On the contrary, what we are practicing now is, okie now they are resting, why not we rest too?? I am not trying to be sarcastic or mean, but thats the impression i am getting in a very comic manner.
Now that this is announced, there are certainly a lot of qns not answer, i myself is awaiting a satisfied answer on why, but in my heart i know that no matter what they say, there's always a qn mark that can never be answer.

regards
dreamwaters

Recently...

2004-06-03T22:02:00.000+08:00

Recently there are some things bothering me. Maybe the fact is Simon is leaving next week, it really irks me a little seeing him leave. Also he just had an operation to improve his vocals.

Talking about the operation, on the surface it seems to be a success, since he came out alive =P. However, success to may also means the objective of the operation met. So we came to a point of thinking, is the objective coming out of the operation threatre alive? That sounds stupid, you wouldnt spend $6K self inflicting pain dont you?? If anyone knows that punk for a good few years, you will know that when he eats, he eats like a wolf. However for the past week, he ate like a "virgin" so thats how bad it hurts. Seeing that do hurts me, nevertheless thats a choice he made, and he stood by it.

It has been two weeks since the operation, the results were not impressive, at least he was not impressed. There was no obvious improvment, at least from what we can hear, and see.... from his expressions. he looks disappointed by the results, what i could say from my mouth is just "you should be glad enough that he are still in one piece" thats is really all i can say to console him. Seriously i think that is really less than nothing, but what can i say?? maybe because i am not really a very smart alec, but if theres is someone out there who can enlightened me, please let me know.

However now is still the recovery stage, hopefully he will sound clear in time to come. Can see the anticipation and eagerness in him, he is leaving on the 12th, which is next week. He even got his new laptop already, playing generals with it.

One is going another is coming back, YK is coming back july ard 17 or 18. He will be here for good, embarking on his career. WL is also coming back too, but abit later, she is now scare about school ending, to add on, her laptop is dying too. Should have heard her saying in a loud voice "GO AND SLEEP" ha ha ha thats after i dozed off when i chatted with her, she must be very pissed off. Even though she says no =P

regards
dreamwaters

employing someone

2004-05-25T13:07:00.000+08:00

Read a book about Starbucks coffee that day. Its about the growth of Starbucks from scratch. Abut the owner CEO Donald Strulz. There's a line that i would like to qoute inside. It says "never be afraid to employ someone thats more capable than you, and afraid that he will outshine you in all aspect of work"
Then with this line, i started to think "am i afraid that my subordinates will be stronger and smarter than me??" i am afraid no, however i will be affected. As this will show imcompetency of me. In many case of the work, there are bound to be people that are just more smarter and more competent than you. Its just that they are not that lucky or perhaps its just not their time yet. So you are the guide to their light. Nevertheless i have heard stories, about people due to jealousy, took credit for all those people do, and make it theirs. Not to say that there's also instances when people will also kill these smarter people for being smart. Its comes to a stage whne the company or organisation will not improve due to these bunch of senile and unflexible people who in the whole day trying to earn credit for what they did not do. For those who are hardworking and slogged throughout the night for his work, ended up someone elses table, becoming other people's points.
In one way that, these people sits up the position of this arseholes, they will take sweet revenge on these up and coming youngster, destroying their briliant and innnovative thinking.
Why cant we throw away these old and loser thinking into the trashbin where it belongs??
I believe in teamwork. When a team is being put up for a reason, individuals long and shortcomings, to complement each other. Thats the way, it should be doesnt it?? why would i want to form a team thats similiar in character??
So to end these, i will qoute this by Donald Strulz " well i have employed you because you are smarter than me. Well now go and show me." SO are you ready to show people what you are made of?? =)

regards
dramwaters

happy today!!!

2004-05-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

Today i am looking forward to the evening time portion. Its the time when the MDC and the Dinner and Dance committee staff gather for a reception and cert presentation. However for me, its sort of a gathering for people who helped me fulfilled a wish and help me believe in myself more.
Jonation the muscle man, Zee the Salsa dancer and Jos the funny mood guy. HAppy to see them, know them for less than 6 weeks met for less than 10 times, we are like long lost brothers. As usual they made fun of me, with the 1.78m Rosalind. They can do what ever they like to make themselves happy, neither me. Ned the cute looking 20 years old boy, now is in a competition on POWER98 NSF IDOL competition and he is top few!! woah, happy for my 20 years old singing teacher hehe.
Sitting down with the guys lets and reminds me of a lot of things that i have forgotten. Its like sitting down with friends that we have been together for a long time, and, they are only enlistees, Corporals to be exact, anyway they call me by names, i also prefer Mr Kenny to Lieutanent Kenny. Let's behave the way from the point that they know me.
It was a short gathering matter of fact, it was over in less than half an hour but it was a thing to cherish and a moment that these people are the ones that let me know that everyone has a thing in them, waiting to come out. They have unleashed the monster in me.
To be fact after the stint, going back to my boring and monotonous life as a officer trainer again, some how feels rather different and stale maybe just like what Ricky Martin sings "Livin la vida loca"

regards
dreamwaters

match making?? stupid and embarassed experience...

2004-05-09T21:02:00.000+08:00

i was alone on the streets yesterday, dave and theresa was around and asked me to hop on the trip in search of things to do on a boring Sat night. We went to LIPs cafe at cineleisure, had a milk shake and a cheesecake!! yeah...
Suddenly came a call for a Theresa, her friends are coming... David looked stressed initially, however i told him, dude i got your back don't worry. True enough he dont have a thing to worry at all.
Came her friends i rem one name is wendy, another is eunice. They sat down and then ordered drinks. It was a rather cold one hour, untill wendy started asking me, so kenny what do you do?? HOw old are you?? Then came the Bombshell, so are you attached?? I am OH MY GOD!!!&*^*$%^ i said no, Then she said WHY?? so there a answer for this question?? She then said Eunice is single too sigh... in the end i really wanted to find a hole to hide. Not to mention Eunice =(
Seeing this situation, i had to do a ice breaker, i started talking to Eunice, asking her about her job and age. In the end, everyone was quiet and listening to our conversation. I really had no idea what i should do to solve this tough and shitty problem. So go abck to the magazine and act blur.
Before we left the place and go home, wendy came to me, so how?? my friend how?? can make it?? can be friend anot?? go and ask her number la, Really feel like slitting her throat. I just ask bodoh and run as fast as possible.
So this tell us that match making is something that kenny does not desire at all, and totally sees no need in it at all. But when i have a question, "why are you not attached for so long?" so why?? i told her that, do i have to have a gf 24/7?? i am sure i can live with it, til i found a appropriate one, So that a wrong answer? Or is it i am adnormal, those who keeps changing girlfriends around the year, is the normal one??
Its okie, even now when i am typing this, i still think i am normal, and i am not turning gay, if you guys are concern out there. Thanks. I AM FINE _I_ so i guess i will still be here waiting for NEO the one to appear. Hope she appears soon, and its not a he haha.

regards
dreamwaters

Second Chance

2004-05-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

For all you people out there, wondering where i have been for the past few days. i was at a retreat. It is organised in the light of the units welfare, of the plans and problems to be rectified for the unit in the year to come.
There was a dinner after that, when all the regular staff contributed a sum of money from their performance bonus. Its was a normal dinner and some games to end the night. Everyone was "ADVISED" to stay for the night. So that means we can't go home. Its alos means that i haven't went home for the past week. its a week that i wish i never have to go chalet again. =(
Aloysius drank a little, and started talking about words of anger and frustration. Aloysius had a lot of bad cases and charges due to his poor conduct in the past. HE went through a lot in his later days and now he finally got his deserved SSG rank. He started questioning about the purpose of this chalet. As the boss advised all to stay, in the end many of the senior guys went home. He was very agitated about this, saying things in front of my boss, words of scarsiam came to my boss, questioning him why is he goin home. To me its a pure sense of idiotiness, questioning your boss.
After all the nonsense, he came to a point, he made lotsa mistake in the past. He asked everyone, was he given a chance to prove himself?? at least did people gave him a chance and believe in his change? He pointed out that, he did a lot of projects, assignments in the past few years. But he asked, people did all the above to get mileage and points to be compute in to the work performance, but his, is it just a chance to atone for all his past mistake and sins? To be frank i have no answer. Mistake or not, he should be happy tht he is still getting jobs and tasks, however if it is for the above reason, it is damn pathetic. He feels that he is condemned in everyone's eyes. Whenever people is late is work, they wil be forgiven, but if its him, his mistake would be magnified and discussed in public. Its true and its words from a man of frustration and anger. Which i do feel for him, but at rhe same time, it gets me thinking. For all the shit that he did in the past, he would have been discharged if not for people's help, giving him another chance to fight another day. It seems that the act of generousity and has eaten him, as a act of humiliation.
In his eyes was just pure hatred and unfairness of the system, which has given him a chance to fight again, but its the managers of the system who have decided to hang him by a string and leave him struggling.
I am not in a position to judge him, no one is. But is "no one" out there ready to give him another chance, some one who still have things to offer to the service? Who is frustrated that his abilities was not seen by the people out there?? I am ready, are you??
tired day... is a day that never seems to end...

regards
dreamwaters

friends.... is it me or is it them??

2004-04-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i met up with my poly friends. For some catching up. However i don't know why, something seems to be pulling me away from it. Its not as if i don't enjoy their company, its just seems so predictable whats going to happen at the gathering. What we are going to do in the end.
Okie we met at 2100hrs and as usual all are late except me and brian again. And god damn it lori din come. Met up ar Starbucks, hey i din order a starbucks drink, i bought a orange julius drink ok (for all you guy know, thats even more ex than a starbucks coffee =( ) anyway, started the catching up session. First time, i felt a silence in me. Something i don't usually feel and yes i don't feel like talking. i felt so out of place, especially all the bike talk, to a non biker?? I can see brian trying hard to blend in, but sometimes trying too hard, you know. In the end, i was sitting there for 2hrs listening to them with occasional smiles, cause thats the best i can do. At about 0100hrs, they going to JB to pump petrol and thus that ends the meeting. left the place with the intention to meet simon.
I don't what impression i am leaving in their mind, since i meet them very very rare, last time was last year november. Suddenly appeared again, acting like a snob, or what so ever they think. To be frank, the silence is not because of my attitude, but its just purely, i don't know and have anything to say. Normally when a group of old friends meet up, it would normally be a past reminicising session, but it always end up in a boring session of bike and sacasism. At least now the sacasim is lesser this time round. As for the bike part, i am surprised they did not brought up my bike learning experience ( dont ask, only those who know me long enough would rem, so if you dun know, dun ask too).
When i was walking home, something came to my mind "did kenny change, or did they change" but then again, people change, with different experiences and views in life, a person change, together with the surroundings. Maybe my views have changed, one reason maybe is that i don't really mix much with them, resulting in diverting views. Then again if i have a motorbike, things might have been different again. I would not say which is the outcome i prefer, the first or the latter, i would choose to say i am happy with what and who i am now. I am leading a life that i do get to choose what i like and want to do.
Happy to meet up with them, just that the topic...sigh enough said...
Today sucks, feeling sick and a very very bad sore throat, think i am dying from all the shouting during the anniversary rehearsal and dinner and dance. Now my throat on strike. Think i will need to go rest now.
Its 0044hrs, time to hit the bed.

regards
dreamwaters

dream.... do you have one?

2004-04-25T03:24:00.000+08:00

As many if my friends knew that i was training with MDC, Music Drama Company for the past few weeks for the preparation for the Annual Dinner and Dance. MDC is my mind was a place for the chao keng and slackers. Boy how wrong was i.... its a place of talents, people there can all sing, dance, act and host. i would call it SHAOLIN TEMPLE hahahaha. but thats true.
i have undergo singing practices and dancing rehearsals. In singing, i always have that small and lil faith in it, no until i saw Ned and Nuris, they are the singing in charge. Ned is a nice young 20 years old chap, always trying hard to impart his knowledge. Nuris, is the typical bitch that can sing and criticize well and boy do she sing well. She used a word on me, you very chin chow leh. it means very cina basically. i sound like a chinese trying very hard to sing a english a song. Most of the time, my singing lesson becomes a english lesson =)
On the actual day, we went for a final rehearsal at neptune, it went all wrong for me. the key and chinchowness all came back, she also gave me a good one. Then came the actual show, People from MDC gave me a lot of support, aidil, moe, ned, nuris, and many many more. Then came my turn to sing, the moment was magical, undescriable. feeling of being in control of the crowd. The feeling of being applaused and appreciated. it made me realise why these people from MDC, why are they training so hard and not goin with main stream of singaporeans, who are slogging hard for their life. i would say the word would be PASSION and BELIEVE. The feeling on stage to them is magical, no matter how many times you will be on stage, it will always be a new feeling and the sense of achievement will always be there. many a time in life we would be busy chasing things in life that you don't believe in and ended becoming a slave of life. Therefore i am now asking myself this question " kenny teo, do you have a dream?" i do not have a answer til now. maybe anyone out there can also tell me, whether do you have a dream, and if you are working towards it. At least i know tat someone in this world is working toward something he or she believes in. At the end of the show, people from MDC kept asking me to join star search and Singapore Idol, wah make me such a happy poeple, i told them if Ned and Nuris joins Singapore IDol, i where got chance. i told them i would join star search, hahahah
What a joke.... its 0321am in the morning now, time to sleep now, telling to weyling now, wonder if the sick lady is going to rest soon.

regards
dreamwaters

Before i go Bali.. =p

2004-04-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

If anyone is wondering why the dude has not been writing recently, it is because the modem is not working!! i am not slacking for anyone's info.
This week rather busy with the anniversary dinner and dance rehearsal. And yes i am performing!!! i will be involved in a group opening dance, a song "flying without wings" and a group song "we'll be one". dancing is still ok, the difficult part is singing, especially you put a cina man to sing english songs. I suffered a lot in pronounciation problems. i think the teacher has alot of problem trying to correct my broken english, not really broken enghlish but i would say that the words dd not turn out to sound the way they wanted =) i was then last minute pulled to say the finale song, we'll be one. That song is very nice, surprisingly i never heard of it b4, neither daniel, even that potato never heard b4, so i guess its not ignorant of me. Its a Sidney 2000 olympic song. No wonder sound so grand and noble, all those "come together, we can do it" shit hahahaha. to be frank that song do carry a lot of meaning, so not to insult or do dishonour to it. I will practice that song everytime i go toilet. so thats a rather good promise anyone think so? However i am goin to bali tomo, back only on tue, so maybe there may be a switch in singers and i might lose that part. nevertheless, i am happy to be inside the MDC and learn alot of stuff, such as showmanship and some techniques. and of course lotsa friends... haha i think thats the biggest returns i got this trip. Maybe because they make me very song when they ask me to take part in star search, say i am star search quality.... hahahaha. maybe time for me to plan my new career. maybe i should really take part in star search... hey at least i have people telling me i look like Ix shen. so how bad can it be.
Tomorrow afternoon the beach boy and co owner of Red Eagles Dive centre will be goin to Bali for a business expendition. To look for the possibilties for future venture, and also to see a MANTA RAY, yes thats a stingray look alike with a C shape mouth. Hopefully can also see some sharks too, but those friendly ones la. Not bad, since i am working, seems to be travelling a lot. maybe that's a plus point of working, hhaha. until then i will stop here, will update all concern people on the experience, of the place after the bombing incident.

regards
dreamwaters

Yesterday....

2004-04-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to a friend's wedding, can i say friends wedding?? kinda confusing right?? guess what, both are my friends. Pingxian and Liyun getting married after 4 years in the love process. Stepping into the ultimatum of all love, Marriage. How to understand why would some one get married at a young age, what dave said is true, theres no time constriction to say how long to be together in order to qualify for marriage. Love is something that cannot be calibrate using time or money, something that both of them must be understand and accept each other regardless of anything. It must been a long wait for Pingxian, they only got together after secondary school days. When i guess i must have been the "THING" that got in between them. Because Liyun sits on my left and Tuakang on my right. Ya Pingxian AKA Tuakang.
THis wedding actually is more of a class gathering rather than wedding to me, i get to see all my secondary school mates. The sacastic Yenping said something very true, "kenny you know what, we actually know each other for about 11 years already you know? But i havent seen you for 9 years already?" =) Well so true, it touches my heart but tickles my balls Hee hee. Also Mrs Seck my maths and form teacher, she is still the same, still the cute her, with Austin and Beatrice, ya, they would still in the stomach when i was in school, now they are tall and good looking. Remember when Mrs Seck said " Dont worry Kenny when my son sees you in future, i will tell him not to be like you." Then the whole class laughed. Well thats my job in school and life, make people happy. =)
Everything is the wedding is quite standard, until the toasting. When Pingxian did it again. He brings out a small piece of paper, telling everyone that he prepared this speech without the knowledge of his wife(somehow i wish he did, at least someone would have vetted his "convincing speech") The first sentence goes, "i thanked god for letting me meet my wife, she brought me out of darkness" WAH i think you, if i was eating, i probably puked everything out. Since when did he became a Christian?? Darkness?? MUahhaaha Lastly he ended with a Lao Puo, wo ai ni. My hair stood attention that instant, Buay tahan. I turned to derrick and told him that lesson learnt here is that, sometimes its better not to try too hard. After dinner i told edward who is a teacher now, "why did you not write the speech for him??" Edward replied well and said that Content and langauge can be corrected and helped, but not pronounciation =/" i think if tuakang hears that, i think he will take a knife and cut all our throat. Probably thats the reason he did not call us up to the stage for toasting. I am glad he didn't.
Dinner ended went home. Next would be Derrick, at the end of the year. Can see the happiness look in their eyes, i was asking them. So what you guys want for your new home?? derrick told me he wants air-con system 4 preferable Sanyo. Oh he actually thinks the same freq and Ah beng. Oh and my reaction to him was, just a wide grin, thats all. i thought great minds think alike, so do buggers. =) Anyway we are still exploiting the possiblities to the things we can give them, the primary group would be electrical appliances, so probably things like fridge, rice cooker, radio, stove, oven are all possible choices but aircon?? system 4?? thats about 5K plus Sanyo in particular, derrick smart =) This is a Air con salesman you are talking here, i mean me. Per person is about close to 1K, hhmmm to be frank thats a bit hefty. 5K can buy all the above stuff that i mentioned. Nevertheless, i am sure all the dudes are willing to go as far as we can to make their house a happy place for them. RIGHT???
Just got to know a YOGA instructor few days back, interesting fellow, nice and approachable, think i would go and learn from him. However, i would only go when i have a partner, ya partner. He is a nice guy la, just that he seems very very nice to me, i am a little felt back. Well i think i do have guy appeal at times, i couldnt attract gals so guys is better than nothing, he hee. Nevertheless he is a gentlemen and he even invited me to his pub, so i guess i just made a new friend, and new yoga teacher =)
Today i got a friend going for a BBQ in the day, something new right?? hey dun laugh i am not laughing, i must be stuck in this lousy country for too long. Today i am in camp, looking after the security of the country when people are clubbing out there =). Be glad that i am hey god damn it... now is 1745hrs long night ahead. people who see this are welcome to call this lonesome guy. BTW yanping (scroll up if you dun know who she is) say i look like IX SHEN HE HEE. She just cant lie =) alios

regards
dreamwaters

Gone in 7 secs.......

2004-04-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

okie.... this is not the angelina jolie and nicolas cage flick. just wanna share some experience and thoughts...
this morning i went for the IPPT test for all army regulars. i have been training very hard recently. so the pressure has been mounting on me to get the gold award. However i would say that the only obstacle i have would be the 2.4km run, to be able to come back before 09.44mins. I know its easy for many people out there, i would say it requires training, and when the whole world thinks you are the one, pressure can be a dread. Which is happening to me. And the station was fine, so the time for the 2.4km comes, assembling at the start point. Suddenly the adrenaline rushes up my head, i can hear my heartbeats, my whole body is virtually shaking...I am feeling very kan qiong!!! Comd told me not to be nervous and look at the greens to stay calm.
The flag off goes, we started running. Funny when the thing starts, the feeling was gone, i was actually very focus. The strategy was to stay together with the big-time players, stay constant and open up on the way back. THis is to make that i will not get shag-out on the way back. i was following chee sing as he is of the same build as me, and not those fast starters. came the midpoint, i opened up, and push myself to the limit. The crunch point was the 1.8km part, the point when the lungs and heart are not listening to instructions. So came the brain and will power, wenyao and dave gave me two different way to pysche myself up. Wenyao say to think of someone that you would like to tell someone about this, dave tole me to think that i am the best, and not to slow down and give up all the tough training. I applied both, not saying who i am thinking about, and telling myself i am the best. It works... at least i could sustain the last stretch.
Reached the finishing point, i was told 0951, i was like WHAT THE FARK!!!! 7 dirty seconds, thats like 20 steps. Too bad, consolations from everyone, well done, next time you confirm can do it, no problem blah blah blah. All the standard sentences and statements, that will some how make you feel better and not so sad that you did get it.
It also brings us to a point. No matter what you have done and trained to make yourself ready for something, no matter studies or work. If theres no result or recognition to it, what meaning does it have?? In this case, i have trained very hard, i can have everyone telling me, wah ken you are so fit, you confirm can get gold, you are so different from before. However, all these are nothing unless, you can get a certification, like getting gold for IPPT. Because, for all the nice hearing political sentences that you hear, it will also end with a "but he cannot get gold" see what i mean, sounds familiar right?? If a company is very systematic with its processes and working styles, it should get a ISO 9001 to strengthen the faith of the workers and the custombers. Truly that it is not necessary, buit wouldn't it be a booster to the everyone, even on the newpapers, ABC Company ISO certified. so the point is clear. Even to people who studying hard, if you don't get good results, whats the point of studying hard??
I guess enough said, i think i have driven the point. For me now, is to get IPPT gold and show the world what i can do... Not feeling sad, but feel a desire to do it the next time. Which matter of fact i will, to get the $200 and tell someone that i got gold. =) Anyway i promised dave and all that i will treat them to jap when i get it, but guess they have to wait a while more. Weyling that gal is goin to eat seafood buffet later, making me feel so hungry, think after the disappointment today, i must eat something to make myself happy. Let myself grow fat a bit... he hee
Now is 1737, gonna meet simon, dave and kel for makan and gaming, ya i know.. BORING.... you think i give a damn to wat you guys think?? =P

regards
dreamwaters

Uncertainty.....

2004-04-01T21:53:00.000+08:00

when i on my comp just now, suddenly i saw this website, www.jobstreet.com. Curious about what is it. Its a classified place when people put up job advertisements. So thinking that i would be jobless in months time, might just do myself a favour by scanning through and finding what are the options out there for me... This statement then surface onto me, "tian xia zi da ke you wo rong shen zi chu?" Yk says that i am feeling fear, but i would like to use the word "uncertainty" its sounds more appropriate in my situation now.
When a person works in a place for more than 2 years, when the work becomes a routine. When it becomes a burden, when it becomes a drag to go work. Lastly when you felt that you are going nowhere in the job. The answer to your mind would be move on, look for another job, in search of new challenges.
Situation 2, what if you are too comfortable in the job, everything is in place for you, pays good, benefits is enticing, everything is very nice. Then again, you are going to retire in 42. =) thats the catch.
For me i feel a case of both, i am in a job that comfortable, pays well, nice place, however i feel a burden in the job. My mind tells me to go and go for a search for new pasture. I believe life is a place and oppotunity to search for a thing thats so precious, its call Challenge thats a belief in my life, why stay for something thats so achieveable when you know that you are better than that. Some people might think that its nothing compared to money, wealth and statue. Come to think about it, when you meet the challenge, the above would just fall in, of course not those challenge like eating how many you can pee la. Even when that stupid William Hung went up and challenge himself in front of the world, he made a statement that shook the world (i dun wanna say it, its just rubbish from a person that if i am his mum or dad, i would wear a rubber and prevent him from getting birth, if i know he is going to things like that, can you imagine how that loser is gaining celebrity ship by being a fool duh" its just a state of mind. When you are going for a 100m sprint, when you are composed and calm, you somehow knew that it will just be yours.
We gonna be realistic about challenges and goals. Make it achieveable but make it higher than what you can do. So when you fall back you will not be that low, you will still be high up there. Accepting and recognising your weapons and traits that you have is impt, yk says more... recently yk seems to have met a wise man, he seems very chim recently. A little dark at times, irks me a little. he got the points, but the input style is something i din expert. It comes like a punch, and maybe because of that way, it etches more deep and harder into my mind. Nevertheless there are points that i agree and disagree, we just have to find out by trying. Afterall he is he, i am i, believes is something that comes with a man's experience in life. My believe definately deviates from his. However, it will give me points to ponder about. And that will firm up Kenny's Brand of Believe He hee (what weyling will say... nonsense leh you) its true, i mean the believe part.
All he said also contributes to my points of uncertainty, to be sure of whats the path and route that we wanna take. Planning what may come, what are the solutions and tools to overcome those, requires skills and thinkings along the way. However i would consider the most important thing for me, is the courage to take the first step, to step out of comfort and welcome myself to the world of uncertainty. And it is in the world of uncertainty, it is where challenges lies, only there will i reap fruits of success. sounds ambitious?? nah.... think its called desire and believe.
i will leave today with these words 天下既然大便一定有我容身之处 (thanks yk for his chinese words, coz my comp is a potato, cannot speak chinese) and because of that, "success belongs to the man who dares to venture to uncertainty ground" guess what thats the first sentence in "Kenny's chicken soup for the believer" yup thats the book name to my book of believes hahaha, corny right??
gonna go, going to watch american idol, lucky my fave camilie velasco is still in the competition, she rocks but she just need to gain more composure in her performance. GO GO GO!! wonder what is weiling doin also, din see her online also, maybe working hard, maybe playing minesweeping..... fyi she holds a record for the expert level ok (qouted by hers truly) mauhhah its 2157 time to hit the tv again... bye

regards
dreamwaters

Overseas Trip... =(

2004-03-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

I was assigned to plan a overseas trip for Simon, before he heads for texas for his overseas attachment. I shortlisted a few places that fits into our budget. Only to hear that he have to surrender his passport one month before he leave.... so that also means that he cannot go... =(
Now i am very disappointed now.... haiz i know he must be feeling the same way that i do, he is really a true brother to me and to all of our brothers. But we have to bear in mind that the fact everyone has to move forward and upwards. We got to face the fact that its his turn and its for his own good. Changing of environment gives a person more exposure and experience. He might just become another man, but deep inside, theres one thing that will never change, that's us and him in his and our heart. Right Guys?? I will miss you dawg!!!!

"Eagles Die on earth to gather in Hell"

tomo still got presentation, time to sleep. its 2317hrs

Regards
dreamwaters

performance bonus =)

2004-03-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

Today after the sports meet, all of us have to hit back camp to collect our performance bonus. It was a solemn ceremony, where Boss will give out one by one. after i open up my evelope, i saw, LTA KENNY TEO you have been awarded with one month of performance bonus!! steady la, got extra money liao... he hee.
It also brings up a point for everyone to ponder about, poeple in the army has been given performance bonus regardless of merit or achievements, as in no matter what you do, you will be given performance bonus, as long as you dun get charged or any silly mistakes. Howver there will be a certain amount that did exceptionally well, they will be given more. That exceptionally well, must really be exceptionally well.
i seen people doing nothing getting it, people who sweat it out for it. So who is to judge those people who did nothing and still get it?? i think only those people
themselves can judge it.
At least now i touched my heart and say aloud that i earned this through my hard work, and i am proud of it. so who will question and judge me?? =)
well got to go now, american idol is now, its 2150hrs now

Regards
dreamwaters

Know where you stand... =)

2004-03-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a 400m run.... a atheletics meet of the formation. I was just carrrying a mentally that i am not a bad runner, so probably i wouldnt be the last few in the HEATs. When the runners gathered at the start point, i start to get pressure, all not bad huh, got spike shoes, looing damn pro, "ji pai si liao" then i recall a moment ago LTC seah was asking me, kenny how?? the event later?? I told him Sir i try not to be the last. He replied aiya havent run say lost. how to win? i was like eerrrrr. i was in lane 6, when the buzzer goes, everyone started running... i was still within the crowd at the 200m mark, after that people started to run past me, one by one. By then my legs also numb already, tyring to run harder... but to no avail... its like the shit is coming out of the hole soon, that kind of feeling. Hell man, it was really one of a kind feeling. When people started running past me and touching the finishing point, first time i see the finishing line getting farther and farther away from me. When it ended, i can feel my body giving away, its worse than 2.4km. weylingw was wishing me good luck yesterday, somehow after this incident i have learnt that Luck is important, but first the skill and ability must be acquired first.
Also you must know where you stand, like what all chinese say, take a weighting machine and see how much you weighted. But we must also however not to be bounded by this thinking, a famous person also say this before, i can remember who... "if you think you can win, you can, if you th ink you lose, you will"
Not to forget, if you belong to the last few, don't think you can become first overnight. All are training involved. I did't trained but just too bad they are too good for me. By the way, i am second last if you guys are wondering =) and don't laugh god damn it!!!!
Now goin dinner with CPT Low, today also Jiafu bday, they say they wanna try the baffurlo wings... god bless them all. its 1800hrs now... gonna go.

Regards
dreamwaters

Good husband n Son in Law

2004-03-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

Derrick is getting engaged in the end of the year, he has got a house with Sally so its a government thingy that they haf to get engaged within half a year. Sally seems to be wonderful lady, at least from what i see and Derrick is also a responsible man, so i would say that they are a perfect couple. Then i started looking at myself, am i ready to make a commitment as big as this?? am i ready to accept someone as my second half?? Seriously, i dont know!!
So in search of the answer, i started asking around, in my mind i was thinking, what makes a good husband or son in law?? i think that would be able to gear up my mental. i approached the Darth of the dark side, Darth Simon, he told me 3 points to be a good son-in-law as quoted by simon Quah
- must be pleasant looking
- must have back bone
- treat their daughter well
So i checked back to my example, Derrick Tan. Oh , he is good looking, not to mention pleasant looking, such a understatement. Backbone?? yeah he has a career to work towards to. Treating Sally well?? at least from what i see, unless there are things that we aint supposed to hear and see... =P So can i conclude that Derrick will be a good husband and son in law??
So much for being such a busybody, my life is in a big mess, had so many useless and time wasting relationships, at least that one with the nurse is. Even have problems accepting someone in my life. Maybe its just my luck, maybe its is just fate that i met her. maybe it is just ME!!! what to do... some times its better to blame myself than to blame others for my misfall. There were nice ladies coming into my life, but maybe because i am not ready for them, and they left as i did not gave them a chance to know me better. What a loser!!! now i am asking myself this question everyday. AM I READY??? how about someone who know me well give me an answer, willing to pay good money for it.....=) like a advertistment in MIRC haha any man wans a sexy boy?? good money??
It could also be a question of confidence, the 3 criteria for a good husband, i dun think i fit into any of them, they are so vague, to be a good husband to it, it also means a secure life, stable job, all these are the tangible things that i think should be the main factor for a good husband, Its sounds very materistic, but would a man who loves her so much that he wanna let her suffer together with him, at the very least for me, no. Not to mention the kid, i sure don't want him to be like me, the same time i hope that he will not become a spoilt brat, i would like to let him have a secure life, studies, to the very best i can do. Imagine a family everyday discussing about $$ problems, not about where to spend but not enough for this and that. Then probably the boy will have white hair like me at a very young age. My wife and i will be worrying about bills, fees, all the liability. Getting filthy rich is not what i desired, i just wanna reach a state that my family is comfortable with our lifestyle. That will be enough for me. I wanna spend time with my son, see him grow up to be a man of character and integrity like his DAD =P hahaha
I think i am still very far from the above dream..... so what to do but to work hard.... "HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR THE WORST" hahaha
.... my chest is aching, damn.... =) think i am losing energy, getting old liao.... weyling always say that i am nonsense, maybe its true, but i am really losing energy wat...Its 2304pm, time to end good night

Regards
dreamwaters

what lies ahead......

2004-03-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my boss LTC Seah Cheng soon asked me to go into his office for a interview, normal chat about my leaving of the service. He is still the same guy saying his same old "by and large, by and large" make me feel like laughing throughout the entire interview.

Seems that a person when he reached a certain age he will become smarter and observant. He is a typical example. maybe due to my maturity in age and seniority in the service, i do not feel much pression talking to him anymore. Just like another fatherly figure in my chapter of life.
We started talking about my stay in DETC, what i take away from this stay and what did i saw and felt. Seriously, throughout my life as a young officer in the army, i went through lots of nonsense and shit that probably no one would understand. i learn this theory, i would like to call it kenny's theorom "Experience and punishment is nothing without a lesson learnt" i learnt a lot of lessons apparently =P
everybody was telling its a bad choice to leave the army now, times are bad, better stay put and see how the situation goes. To be frank, i have seen people come and leave the army, there are also people who stay because of the stability of the job, some cant bear to leave because of its pay. Like Kelly, he told me that he cant bear to leave because of the good pay and the working pace. Ray told me that he is planning to get married to a few more years time with his current girlfriend, which is a good thing. Then there are people who would pose me back a question such as "what are you goin to do outside?" Seriously speaking, until today when people ask me this question again and again.... i still do not have an answer, but the answer will always be, anywhere is better than here, i have no fire nor desire to work for anyone in this place, and WORKING IS ABOUT FIRE AND DESIRE!!! but i do hope to get a job in the sales sector, afterall thats what i am good at "TALKING"

LTC Seah asked me why did i signed on?? What a fantastic question!!!! i also asked myself a thousand times, but the answer was not convincing..... or was it too convincing, somehow no matter how i see my life it always surrounds the S-11 issues, i understand that its a phase in life, a process of making me stronger.... but this process sometimes is painful and excruciating, maybe i am more immune to all this shit already, lucky i got a few good men with me.... =) dave always there to remind me of the correct track BY ASKING ME LOTS OF QUESTIONS, he just dun get it that i am a stupid boy. Simon always encourages me, no matter i am right or wrong. Kel always reminds me that i am alive, YK giving me good and solid advices. Kiong the funny guy but always sees him when something requires him to be ard. derrick and CK always very busy, look forward to seeing them everything, miss them very much, although sometimes you would realli feel like kicking Ck in his ass. People always says that in life, if you have one good friend thats very lucky already.... well i have 7. :)

hey i think if this is a compo, i think i have failed already.... hahahahha from a interview become talking about my brothers...

Leaving the service is going to be a big and huge chapter of my life, looking forward to a journey of uncertainty is making me very excited. At the same time, finding a path that genuinely belongs to you, is an experience that you would never be able to calibrate with $$... Of course when it comes with it, who would mind. =)

Think i am getting old and nagging already, its 2300hrs now, after Auldreay intro this forum of self expression to me, i think i can become a writer soon.... its like asking a parrot to write down what he has to say in words hahahaha. Tomo still gonna work.... Auldreay is trying to teach the comp idiot how to add stuff to his blog =)

Regards
dreamwaters

2004-03-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

Had this funny dream yesterday, felt like sharing....
i was in this room with 3 friends, couldnt see their faces. 4 of us was quarreling with this guy, which i have memory of. Suddenly, he took a knife and stab us all. "to be serious, I have no idea how he did that, one against 4, you got to be kidding, I even remember that he was only using a knife size of a fruit knife" whatever. I was lying there bleeding and thinking about wad my life had been through, all I could think of is "where will I go after this" its was a clear and vivid, so real.... Suddenly I got breathless and started feeling the compression of my body. Unwilling to go just like this, I stood up and walking around, seeing the remainder of my friends doin their normal routines, house chores " ya I know this sounds stupid". therefore I escape from the house, get help... after I went back, all of them were lying on the floor motionless.

I told Simon about it, he say that it is a sign of telling me to give yourself a second chance in life, the next question that ass hole asked me was, was I the person who stabbed you?? wtf!!! But the feeling of dying is so real, maybe its also telling me to cherish every moment of my life. Not until the last minute when you breath your last then start regretting what you have lost in life.

Such a seriously postin in my first blog.... hope to do better nxt time though... now i have to go on a secret mission.... for someone special.... after that i am goin for a run with david. he is always telling me that he can't run as fast as before, sad to say whenever he starts, i always cant seem to smell him, despite i have trained myself very very hard. =P

Regards
dreamwaters